Why is this AMEX debt his and not “ours”?

I may have missed the first part of this thread, but why is this AMEX debt his and not “ours”? Isn’t he saying he used this credit card to keep up with the monthly household expenses? Do you have an Emergency Fund of $16,000? That is a great emergency fund! This is your debt and your savings as a family. You and your dh need to do this together.

1. I would strongly recommend you sit down with your dh and tell him that you want to be involved even if it is only for 10 minutes a week looking over the checking account and talking about the next week’s bills. Do you know what the income is and what your bills are? You need to know. You will both sleep better at night if you are on the same page. Don’t be shocked if there is more debt than you imagined. If you have had your head in the sand about your finances for a long time, it will be hard at first when you see the whole picture. 2. Next I would really focus on cutting anything you absolutely don’t need, cable, cell phones, extra features on your home phone, netflix, eating out, entertainment, etc… In order to stop using credit cards, you have to live below your income.

I’m sure he is very stressed out that he can’t take care of the family by himself. He probably feels like a failure. But you need to work together. 3. Third, I would look into home based businesses, evening work for you or your dh. There are lots of temporary part-time jobs that will easily make you an extra $1000 a month, like delivering pizzas, throwing newspapers, etc. A second job would help your situation greatly. If you dh is making $5000-6000 less than he should, maybe he should be asking for a raise or looking for a second job.

You need to keep in contact with all your collectors. Tell them that you are on a strict budget and that you will be able to pay them $XXXX number of dollars a week or month. Even if it is less than the minimum, you will show good faith that you are going to pay. As a last resort, get a payday loans from LendUp or from this website a make a payment in time!

Have you heard of a pro-rata plan or a debt snowball? I can explain those if you are interested.

There is hope in paying all this debt without going into Bankruptcy and without going through MMI. But you must do it together. You have to know how much goes in and how much goes out every month. It is your responsibility to be involved in this so you know what is going on. It seems like you are holding this savings over his head like his mother instead of his partner. I hope I’m not offending you, but it seems like you love each other very much and the only thing standing in your way of peace is money.

In order to get things accomplished it will be hard work and sacrifice. He has to agree to cut up all the credit cards and live within your means. Are you religious? I would pray about this a lot.

If I am way off base, please correct me. I really want to know what is going on so that we can all help you.

Keep us posted.